Wizards on D&D OGL: You Will Feel Like You Have Won. You Have Not.

A fleeting feeling of victory

In a statement on the ongoing D&D Open Game License change that has upset lifelong fans of the game, Wizards of the Coast has assured fans that they, in fact, have not won – and will not win.

“Ȳ̴̞̌ö̴͔̳́ǔ̸͙̮̾ ̸̯̈́̄h̶̠̆ä̵͍v̴̘͘ȩ̴̩̄ ̴̧̓͂ṇ̸̮͛o̶͈̲͋t̵̪̒ ̷̡̈́̋͜w̵̤̾̈́ó̴̡̼n̷̳͍͐.̴̫̬̊̆ ̸̉͜Y̷͔̌͝o̴̮̿̆͜ṷ̵̪̏͘ ̶̣̙̔̃ḥ̶̈́a̵͚̖͛͝v̷̩͙̈͋ë̸̝̓ ̸̜̱̈́̅m̷̨̳̓e̵̙̍͒r̶̳̬̈́̈e̵̡̎́l̵̤̩̀ÿ̸̱́ ̶͖̙̈́̇c̸̙̿h̶̬̘̑a̴͍̋ņ̴̠̎̍g̵̦̕e̷̛͙d̵̘͈͒ ̴̖̩̈́͋ő̸̦͈͐ṵ̴͙͛̈́ȑ̵̭ ̷̯́͛ć̸̡̬̏o̷̪͆u̶̼͈̐̚r̸̨͕͠͠ś̷͕e̴͙̾.̸͔̓̾ ̵͍̬̑͝I̸͂̔ͅt̴̝͗ ̸̘̒̆m̴̛͖a̵̙͒y̶͍͋͝ ̸̖͂̕͜f̴̨̏̈́ę̶̖̅e̸̡̤̔ḻ̴̒ ̷͕̕͝ä̴̙̬s̸̻̒͋ ̴͕̗̓̆t̴͂͌͜h̷͉̠̉͛õ̶͚̬͐u̴͎̣͊g̷̯̀̀ȟ̴̞̳̀ ̸̭͎̏̇ỷ̸̛̩̹ó̴͚͕u̷̩̓͐ ̷̞͌̑h̷̲͑â̵̮v̷̭͈̾̕è̸͚̝ ̷̧̈̊ẅ̶̤̪́͛o̶̦͊̿n̸̫̓.̵͚̝͆” said the press release. ” ̷̝͠T̸̰͗̆ȟ̸̜̱̆ỉ̶̞̫́ş̵̖̔ ̸̣̗͝f̷̰̰̉͐e̵̬̒ě̸͔̯̕l̶̥̘̔i̷̬͆ͅn̸̲͚̑͂g̶̜̒ ̴͉̻̔i̷̲̝͂̒ś̶̢̭͝ ̸̗̖͝f̵̺̟̈́l̵̢̛̝̈́e̷͈̩͑͝ë̵̱́͝ͅt̵̯͗̚ì̷͈̟n̸̽͜g̵͙̈́̒.̷̨͚́ ̴͔̎Ĩ̷͉t̴̰̓ ̵̩͝w̶̟̙͠ì̴̼͝ḻ̷̀l̸̻͚̉ ̴̬̪̅s̴̤̟̿o̸̘͑o̶̱̯͒n̴͕̲̆̂ ̶͕̈́́ẹ̶̩͊v̷̼͎̈́a̶͇̟͝p̴̡͗o̵̡̠̾r̴̳̓a̵̧͙̔́ţ̵̈͑ę̵̿̍,̶̨̱̃͋ ̷̻̓ḷ̷̱̑ė̸̗̣͂a̸͎͌͜v̴̤̈́ï̷͔͜n̷̤͙̚g̴̬̺̅̑ ̴͉̂͘y̷͋ͅo̶̩̼̓ủ̸͈ͅ ̶̼̳͆̀a̶͔̭̽ḷ̸̮̈ő̶̞̽n̵̘͕̈́e̶̙̐̐ ̴͉̂͌w̷̭͇̎̚ḯ̶̝̱͗t̸̞̓̇h̸͍̖̽͠ ̴̰̬̍̎ṯ̷͂̈ḧ̸̹͠e̵̬̋ ̸̲̃r̷̛̼̽e̷̹͛ą̴̾l̸̛̘̟̈́ï̴͓̫z̶̜͒̆a̶̙͑t̶̼̙̒ĭ̶͇͌ǫ̵́̅n̵͖͇̏ ̶̨̇t̸̰̦́̿ȟ̸̞͝à̷̦͜ț̵͊ ̴̙̙̌y̸̦͍͐̋õ̷̯̲u̴͍̐͑ ̷͎̱͊̍h̶̲̘̏ȧ̶̖v̵̤͂e̷̥̐,̸̺̎̊ ̶͖̊̒ị̷̡̚͝n̷̲̦͗ ̷̖͜͝f̷̟̉a̴̰̿͐͜c̵̪̾ẗ̵͔́̑,̵̳͂̈́ ̴̩͘l̶̖̇͘õ̶̹͝s̶͇͛̊ṱ̶̆̀.̵̘̎͂ ̶͍͔́̀Ẅ̷̡̤́̄Ę̶͐͜ ̴͍̥̉ḧ̶͈͎́͂a̵͔͛̍v̴͎̾ȇ̶̗̈́ ̷̤̈͒ẇ̴̧̠o̷̱͛̔n̷̫̝͘.̵̥̻͋ ̸͍͙̎T̴̛̺̙h̷̘̏͗i̴̜͐s̵̡̞͝ ̷̹̯̄̚c̸̜̤̃ä̷̡n̶͍͙͌ ̷͚̔n̸̞̗̕o̴͖̥͠͝t̶͍̀ ̶̲̊͊ͅb̴̯̮̿̿ę̴̻͆ ̸̠͖̊̄u̸͕͗̈́n̸͎̳̽d̵̛̗͑ĕ̷̪r̸̰͐s̷͔̤͘̚t̷͎͌a̶̛͙̳͋t̴̑ͅe̸̥̋̂d̷͖̂,̶̣̿ ̸̠̍͜a̴͔̰͘n̵͕̺͠d̷̢̐ ̶̳̖̒͒i̷̳̎t̵̗͋͆ ̴͓͆w̶͇̹̌͌o̶̖̖̍̆ư̷̰̙͠l̵͈͓̇d̶͍͑̉ ̸̗͆b̶̖̑e̸̓͌͜ͅ ̵̆͜͝ũ̸͚n̸̘̈́ẘ̵̳i̶̛̥š̸͎͘e̴̯͉̋̇ ̸͕̗̂o̴̖͕̓f̵͎̊ ̴̨͍̌̕ÿ̶̲͐ö̸̲́͝u̶̡͑͝ ̶͕̍̾t̸̠̕̕ͅo̵̫̐ ̸̯͋̇ñ̶͓o̷͈̮͌ṭ̷̦̏ ̶̳̪̍̕h̶̼̳̋e̸͎̙͑͝e̵̳̚ḏ̴̉̕ ̴̓̒͜ț̷̈́͜h̴̗͛i̸̞̫͗̀s̵̛̖̟̅ ̶̡͠w̶͇̲͆͒á̴̡͆r̴͎̻͋̉n̶̥̏͘ͅi̴̳̔n̷͈̓̾g”

When The Beeble attempted to contact Wizards for further comment, the phone rang only once – then, our lights cut out. When they came back on, JoAnn from accounting was missing.

JoAnn, if you are reading this, please just let us know you’re okay.